


in the dark quiet

by Birdie_Anne



Series: The Cover of Darkness [1]
Category: Agent Carter (TV)
Genre: Angst, Drinking, Emotional Infidelity, F/M, Unresolved Romantic Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-04
Updated: 2016-02-04
Packaged: 2018-05-18 04:15:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5897839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Birdie_Anne/pseuds/Birdie_Anne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The office was quiet, dark. </p><p>The only real light was from the desk lamp in his room. Everyone else, such as they were, had gone home hours ago. He should be home as well. </p><p>Instead, he sat in the small pool of light, his head resting on the edge of his desk, his hand curled around a cup of whiskey from his emergency stash. He never thought he’d need an emergency stash, but one of the few pieces of advice from Thompson before he left had been to thrust the bottle into Daniel’s hand and tell him that he’d likely need it someday.</p><p>He had no idea if Jack knew the likely reason he might need it. </p><p>Given the latest revelations, Jack might have known all along.</p>
            </blockquote>





	in the dark quiet

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Mirage](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5845567) by [TheGirlFromINVISIBLE](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGirlFromINVISIBLE/pseuds/TheGirlFromINVISIBLE). 



> After an incredible period of literally no muse and zero motivation to write, this came to me almost fully formed. It's not betaed, and I have only seen the episodes once. But enjoy. Well, maybe not. Angst. 
> 
> Let me know what you think!

The office was quiet, dark. 

The only real illumination was from the desk lamp in his office. Everyone else, such as they were, had gone home hours ago. He should be home as well. 

Instead, he sat in the small pool of light, his head resting on the edge of his desk, his hand curled around a cup of whiskey from his emergency stash. He never thought he’d need an emergency stash, but one of the few pieces of advice from Thompson before he left had been to thrust the bottle into Daniel’s hand and tell him that he’d likely need it someday.

He had no idea if Jack knew the likely reason he might need it. 

Given the latest revelations, Jack might have known all along. 

~~

He still remembered the moment when he’d burst out of the meeting. Peggy had been the only one nearby and he had gushed out the news to her. It had been after hours, and a small part of him had wondered if she had waited around for him. 

“Peggy! We have to celebrate!” His exuberance had thrown caution to the wind.

“Absolutely, Daniel. What are we celebrating?” She had moved to get her coat as she said it, her heels clicking on the tile floor. The smile on her face was captivating as always. 

“My promotion!”

“Your promotion?” She said, her eyes wide. “To what?”

“Chief!”

She looked behind him at the door marked “Jack Thompson.” “Is Jack going somewhere?”

“No, Peggy – it’s…” he stopped. He felt her eyes on him, and met them. She had stilled. “It’s for the new Los Angeles office!”

She breathed out. “Oh, Daniel! That’s amazing! Such a wonderful opportunity!”

“The office will be small, but – hey, who can argue with California!”

She smiled. “Of course! Sun on your face and all that.” She paused for a moment. “So where should we go to celebrate?”

~~

He sighed again, lifting his head long enough to take a drink of his whiskey. The evening had been an unparalleled success. She was charming, witty, beautiful, happy for him – she’d practically announced his promotion to the whole bar. It was – she was as thrilled for him as if it had been herself. It was beautiful. 

She was beautiful. 

He had walked her to her door, and hesitated to kiss her. He should have kissed her. He thumped his forehead softly against his desk. If he had known then…

His mind had played a mean trick on him, though. That night, he had dreamed of Peggy. He had taken her to a swinging hotspot and they danced the night away. She had gushed over him, his physical strength. Things that had been true, once. 

He had woken up distraught, angry all over again at the fate that had taken his leg. He had come so far from that anger, and yet it came back, again, to haunt him. 

If Mary, his own fiancée, hadn’t wanted him back when he was broken, how could a swell woman like Peggy? Even if she had been looking at him the way she had been looking at him. No one like Peggy, and certainly not after Captain America. 

~~

His parents had insisted on throwing him a going away party. 

After all, the last time he had left home was to go to war, and this was a much happier occasion. Getting a promotion at the phone company where they pay for you to move across the country? Definitely something to celebrate!

And of course, he must invite as many of his coworkers as possible. 

Luckily for everyone, only Peggy and Rose, posing as his new secretary, ready to be sent out with him, showed up. Jack, in a rare show of niceness, sent a letter to his mother to be read at the party. It was actually reasonably flattering. 

The thing he hadn’t counted on, however, was Peggy. Despite the ridiculousness of a large, extended Portuguese family compared with her Britishness, she charmed everyone there. His mother especially. 

It had been beautiful and awful. A glimpse into a life he desperately wanted but knew was impossible. 

Except she had looked happy, too. He had forgotten to look at her face, then, but now, he saw it.

Daniel Sousa gently hit his forehead against his desk again. How had he been that blind? How had his self-loathing fooled him so much? 

~~

It had been better when he’d arrived in Los Angeles. At least, that’s what he told himself. 

It was easy to avoid Peggy’s calls. The time difference alone, never mind the expense. 

It was simple to just not think about her, to evade Rose’s carefully worded questions. She had eyes, she had seen them at the party. 

Then he’d met Violet when he’d cut his hand making himself dinner. She’d been assisting another doctor with another patient while he’d gotten stitches that stung like you wouldn’t believe. He’d gotten her number, invited her out to dinner. It had been easy, nice, calm, comfortable. Everything he could have wanted. Especially since what he wanted was to settle down. 

There was the greater truth there that he could never have presumed to ask Peggy Carter to give up so much of what she was to become Mrs. Daniel Sousa. It would never work. 

So, he made plans. He even started putting them into place, haunting a small jewelry store near his apartment until he’d found something that he liked. That he thought Violet would like. 

~~

He hadn’t quite understood why Peggy looked like someone had thrown a bucket of cold water over her head when she realized that he hadn’t asked for her. 

Of course, it’s nice to be wanted, and not nice to not have that be true. But there had been more. 

He just hadn’t wanted to see it. 

Sousa gently hit his head against the edge of his desk. He had made such a mess of everything. 

He’d hurt Peggy. He was hurting Violet. Breaking his own heart in the process. 

~~

He had played dumb when Thompson had asked about his broken heart. Had used Violet as a shield. No, he hadn’t come to Los Angeles with his tail between his legs – he had come to triumphantly take over the SSR office and settle down. Have a life. It was easier in Los Angeles than New York, that’s for sure. 

Except it was a lie. And Thompson, if nothing else, did have some powers of perception. 

“I told Peggy that you’d asked for her.” Jack had said, slowly. “Her face lit up like the sun.” He shifted. “I used them against her. The only thing that would get her away from interrogating Dottie without a fight was the idea that you had asked for her. That you needed her in California.”

“So you said that to her.” It wasn’t a question. His voice was rougher than he would have liked. 

“I used it against her. I had something that I wanted and I used it against her. And she was happy for me to do it. You think about that one, Daniel. Real hard.”

Jack had left, and Daniel had been sitting in his office, alone, ever since. Nursing a cup of whiskey and wondering if he could fix it. 

~~

In his mind’s eye, he saw Peggy with Dr. Wilkes. Trust Peggy to look straight past the outside to someone's heart. It was her gift - she'd done it with Steve Rogers. With him, if Jack was to be believed. Looked past his leg without a second glance. And again for Dr. Wilkes. 

He gently banged his head against the desk. 

He tried to weigh his options. Did he break up with Violet, hope to get Peggy in the end? Gamble it all and maybe get nothing? 

Gamble it all and maybe get everything? Or stay quiet, stay the path. Give it another week or two, until things calmed down with this case before he proposed. Let his heart and mind be in a better place. 

Maybe Peggy would have gone home by then. He sighed heavily. Would that be enough? Would distance really do it for him? 

A friend had once told him that it wasn’t fair to anyone if either partner wanted to be anywhere else than where they were. And he had no idea where, exactly, he wanted to be.


End file.
